Journal - Sunday 27th February

Well, I've finished reading all my `follower's' Blogs - `thanks for the picture `Ros', though I had guessed who you were. I am still waiting for one from Aaron. I know I promised to write every week, but the last two weeks have just been a `write-off'. Hah! Hah!

Seriously I survived my time without my husband, but he wasn't impressed with the housework I'd done. The first thing he did, even before the kiss and the hug, was to look at the car. Consequently, I never got my kiss and hug! After a couple of days of `sulking' and `carrying on', as husbands often do, he bought me a box of chocolates and apologized for being such a GRUMP!!

It did say, though, there is no way I am getting a NEW CAR!! I thought after driving it himself, he'd realize that the problems are not just on the outside. He did, but he also discovered how he could fix them. So, no NEW CAR!! Not that we can afford it anyway, but a woman can dream a little!!

I have also spent a bit of time in the Doctor's surgery in the last couple of weeks. I had a cancer removed from my nose, and a little skin graft done. It was painful, but you know what was worst - those silly comments you get from people. You think they'd be a little bit more imaginative: If it wasn't - `how did you leave the other guy', it was `has Mark been bashing you again'. I can take a joke, but when you've heard it for the 50th time (I think that's about how many men there are in our Church), it becomes annoying.

Anyway, tomorrow, I will be back to normal, if that is ever possible; and to celebrate I had a haircut; which I might add, nobody noticed - not even my pastors - who are usually very observant.

Work is still pretty much the same, but I am looking forward to next week, when wonderful spiritual Mentor and I get together, not just to chat and pray, but to study God's Word together. We hope that both of us will grow a lot, as we look at an `Insight into Stress'.

According to Beverley Shepherd, there are five levels of pressure -

1) Chill out - which I think for me would be those lazy days when nothing much gets done.

2) Work out - When you are performing well.

3) Stretch - When you want to go that little bit further.

(2 & 3 are my favourites)

4) Strain - This is where I feel I am at the moment. Things are starting to go wrong - mistakes at work, failure to communicate, illness, a feeling of being unable to cope and out of control.

(Hopefully, I have caught it here, before the next stage)


5) Burnout - Feeling angry,helpless, trapped and totally depleted.

( I have been there before and I don't want to go there again. )

I hope that if you are feeling this way too, that you'll stay with me over the next months, as I share what I learn with you.

One book I suggest you read, as well as the Bible, is one that I have read a number of times since I started teaching (moving out into the big scary world). It's called `PERFECT TRUST' by Charles Swindoll.

In it he quotes a number of well known preachers, who have also gone through stressful times, maybe even leading to depression (though in their day, it wouldn't have been diagnosed).
One of these was Andrew Murray; and here was His response:

"First, He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this place: in that fact I will rest.
Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me the grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me lessons He intends for me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, IN HIS GOOD TIME, He will bring me out again - how and when, He knows!!"