THE LORD IS MY INHERITANCE

You might have gathered by now that Jeremiah is one of my favourite Bible characters. I don't really know why but there is just something about how he writes - from the heart. This is something I like to do too, but I don't know if my words will ever reach as many people as Jeremiah's have. Oh well!! I hope, that at least they will reach my son and his lovely wife - as these words (sorry guys), are about the only INHERITANCE that I can leave you.

In Lamentations 3:24, Jeremiah says `The Lord is my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him'.
In the previous verses Jeremiah is filled with anger and bitterness. He has been homeless, sick and `his chains have been heavy'. Yet even in all this, a few minutes later he is reminding himself, that there is surely HOPE in the Lord.

Now and then I start to feel a little `down in the dumps' as Jeremiah puts it - `My endurance has perished, so has my hope from the Lord.' I know my husband thinks a lot about what we don't have rather than what we do. It seems to be the way of a husband and father - as they feel they have no inheritance (financial) to leave to their family. Without a job myself at the moment, I also have experience this `fear' that I have nothing to leave my family. Not just financially, but hope for a future. I feel my family and friends must have lost their faith and confidence in me. I know I have.

But then, I read verses like this from Jeremiah (NLT), when I discover that the Lord is my inheritance. My hope is in Him - and this is what I want most to give to leave my family as their inheritance too.

"The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for Him and seek Him. So it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."

At Bible study last week I shared with the ladies about my loving earthly father and how because of His love I am able to experience the same wonderful love with my Heavenly Father. I have often shared how the determination and courage of my earthly mother when she died of cancer. Then I remember how my step mother would be up every morning praying for each member of her family. Their understanding that the Lord was their inheritance and their HOPE was in the Lord is what keeps me going even on those days when my `endurance has perished.'

I guess not many people read my BLOGS - I don't have a lot of followers or get lots of comments; but I hope I can be a blessing to some people, for this is my INHERITANCE. For the LORD IS TRULY MY INHERITANCE, AND MY HOPE COMES ONLY FROM HIM.

Everlasting God (Strength Will Rise) - Chris Tomlin

Wait Upon the Lord

Last week I listened to my husband on the phone PLANNING MY LIFE. If I got this job I would do this and he would do that etc, etc, etc. I got quite upset with him - how dare he tell everyone what I would do.

Fortunately I didn't have the same answer for the Lord when I realized that I was doing the same thing. I was planning my life, with no thought of what the Lord might think about it. I wasn't WAITING ON THE LORD like I had been told to do for the last 3 months, I was waiting for the answer that I wanted.

Was I allowing God to be in control of my life? Now those who know me well know that PATIENCE in not one of my best attribites. By not waiting and resting in God, I was missing out on a very special POWERFUL and PERSONAL experience of Him.

Like Hannah, I had to wait for a child to bless our home. Now he has grown and I am waiting a little impatiently for grandchildren. Recently we received a call from a family member, who told us his daughter was pregnant. Now, she may love her boyfriend, she may even be living with him - I don't know the circumstance, but I do no she isn't married. Now I know it is not frowned upon anymore, and I am not criticizing my neice - but I do thank the Lord that my son and his young wife have followed the Biblical way, and are waiting.

But it's not easy to wait. Especially when you want something so much, and the waiting is just so hard to bear. But what happens when we wait and don't try to tell God what to do. We will experience the wonder of what God has store for us. For me - I wait for a JOB, but not just any job - I want to serve God, I want to make the difference in somebody's life. At the moment, I am reminded that I need to do this as a wife. No matter how hard it is or how tired I feel, I am trying to do just a little bit of housework or baking each day, just to bring a smile to Mark's face.

But most of all I am preparing myself by RESTING in Him, reading His Word, praying and meeting with Christian friends so that I can gain the strength to GO when God says GO. I am TRUSTING, as I always have, that GOD KNOWS BEST. As for becoming a grandmother, I'm willing to wait for that too!!

To hear more about WAITING ON THE LORD, I recommend you go to the Gold Coast Family Church's website and listen to some our minister's `SEASONS' messages. He says it a little bit better than I can.

"You will know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH will set you free."

Last week I had my first job interview - maybe the first of many, maybe the last. As I travelled up to Bundaberg for the interview, I couldn't decide whether I was doing the right thing. Everyone was pleased to see me and told me how well I looked. But I didn't feel well at all. From the time I left on the train, to the time I returned to the Gold Coast, I felt literally sick, and I had a headache that just wouldn't go away.

Maybe it was just `motion sickness' - but I think it was more likely `FEAR'.

Have you every done something that has made you feel so ashamed that you couldn't bear to have anyone find out the truth? The Monday before I left, I had sent off my letter to Education Queensland. I had just spent the last two weeks going over all the `terrible' things people had said about me, trying to convince myself that everything they had said was not true. Trying to convince myself that it couldn't be true. Even if there was some truth in what they said, I had good reason for doing what I did - I was sick. The truth was, I had made some really stupid mistakes. I had let a lot of people down. I had failed!

So as I travelled to Bundaberg for this job interview, I was trying to think of some way I could cover my mistakes, some way I could put them in the past and move on, some way I could prevent anyone from finding out, `I was a bad teacher', `I was a failure'. Even if I got this job, would I not make the same mistakes again? I was putting on a brave face - but the truth was - I WAS TERRIFIED!!

After a short introduction they asked me the question I was dreading: "Why did you go to the Gold Coast? Why are you looking at coming back to Bundaberg?" It came out - I couldn't stop it - the TRUTH!! I went to the Gold Coast because I thought I would do a better job as a classroom teacher. For some reason I had lost faith in myself as a Learning Support teacher, and I thought I could do better in the classroom. I was wrong. I am not a capable classroom teacher, I made lots of mistakes, and now I am on stress leave. I want to be a Learning Support teacher again, but I don't feel ready - so I have applied for this Teacher Aide job.

I had blown it. What a stupid thing to say in a Job Interview? To admit to a possible Employer that you were a failure. But for some reason I felt good - I felt FREE. Their answer, `Thank you for your honesty'. After that, the rest of the interview wasn't too bad. I answered all their questions, as best I could, and then they showed me around the school.

In one of my recent BLOGS, I introduced you to a character in a book by B.J HOFF. A character, who learnt how to find freedom and peace through music. In one of her later books, "The American Anthem", I was introduced to a number of other characters, who found their freedom and hope, by facing some hidden TRUTHS, that they too had been too ashamed to share with others. But when the truth came out, it was wonderful to see how relationships bloomed, particularly their relationship with the Lord - the one who is "The WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE".

This week I sit waiting - not something I have very good at. Waiting to hear if Education Queensland is willing to give me a second chance, waiting to here whether Bundaberg Christian College is willing to give me a chance - holding on to this HOPE, that the TRUTH has set me free, as the Lord has forgiven me.

"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will not fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand." Psalm 37:23&24

Don Moen - Rescue

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

I guess you've heard it many times before `If it wasn't for the Lord.....'. `If God wasn't on my side.....' . But I'm afraid you're going to hear it again, because the fact is if God didn't love me, if God wasn't by my side, if God was not there lifting me up each time I fell', I really don't know where I would be today.

On the weekend I was talking to a very special friend and her words really gave me a lift. "I am so proud of you, you have been so strong." Thank you Paulinne - it is great that people can see God working in me - but that's exactly what it is - GOD WORKING IN ME - why, BECAUSE HE LOVES ME.

I was out with lunch the other day, with a new friend and she was telling me her story, and again there were the words, `If I had not accepted the Lord as my Saviour, and allowed Him to take control', I'd hate to think where I'd be today. I have just finished reading the testimony of a woman, who in the grips of alcoholism, unemployment and physical abuse,' was able to say, "I always knew God had a better way for me." (Ready to Win Over Depression, Thelma Wells).

Have you ever stopped to think about all Jesus went through for you on calvary. I have - every time I feel pain or resentment. Oh the pain and resentment doesn't always go away, but it is a real help knowing that not only does Jesus understand what we are going through, but He did it,
BECAUSE HE LOVES US!!

Touched By an Angel

There are some days I wake up with the fight in me, and other days like today, when I just feel too tired and depressed to do anything. You know that feeling.

One of the comments from our sermon this week at Church, was that if you are feeling this way, do something constructive. It may be something for others - like visiting the elderly, or simply for do something you never have time to do when you are busy `fighting'.

I guess it's an excuse, but it is raining today, and I don't like driving in the rain, so maybe tomorrow I might `visit the elderly'. Today though I have been reading again, God's promise to me from Daniel.

In Daniel 10, we come across Daniel tired and a little depressed I would think, as he thought about what was happening in Persia. He had been mourning and fasting for 3 weeks.

"Then a hand touched me and made my hands and knees shake. The man said to me, "Daniel, you are highly respected. Pay attention to my words. Stand up, because I have been sent to you." When he said this, I stood up trembling. He told me, `Don't be afraid Daniel, God has heard everything you said ever since the day you decided to humble yourself in front of your God, so that you would learn to understand things. I have come in response to your prayer." (Verses 10-12)

"Sir, because of this vision, pain has overwhelmed me, and I am helpless. " (Verse 16b)

"Don't be afraid. You are highly respected. Everything is alright! Be strong! Be strong!"
(Verse 19)

What more can I say to those of you out there feeling, like Daniel, and myself - tired, in pain, or depressed. BE STRONG! BE STRONG!

Psalm 37

Turn with me to Psalm 37.

Have you ever read a passage in the Bible - one you've read a number of times - and found something new.

Psalm 37:3&4; 5, 7, 23&24. These are all well known passages, and uplifting:

"Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your hearts desire. Commit everything you do to the Lord, trust in Him and He will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act."

"The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

These verses have helped me through many a difficult time, so it is not surprising that when I was told, `You have failed - again. You are no good. We don't want you'; I immediately turned to this Psalm.

These verses were comforting, but this time, it was Verse 6, that gave me the strength I needed to persevere.

"He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun."

Yes, I have made mistakes - again. But I am not a bad person, so with the strength of this promise and the love of my friends, my husband and of course the Lord, I will begin my `fight' with Education Department.

The Penny Whistle

Recently I started reading some books by another Christian author - B.J HOFF - in my favourit genre - Christian historical. The Gold Coast Library doesn't have such a good selection as Bundaberg, but I have been able to find a few good books.

I started reading this one - about a teacher and his students, back in the late 1800's. I nearly put it down, because it was difficult reading about much his students loved and respected him, and what a wonderful teacher he was. But I persevered, and the story started to get a little more interesting.

The teacher in the story, Jonathon Stuart, was a musician - he played a flute; but someone had stolen it. After this, and with the fact that he was ill, made him start to think about giving up teaching. He didn't think he could go on - without the `music in him'. I don't want to give the whole story away, but in the end the children made him a penny whistle, and he began playing again. Not only that, but his love for teaching and his health was somehow renewed.

I think you can guess what that `somehow' was.

"I was so terribly, terribly wrong. It was the abscence of hope that had stolen my music, not the loss of the flute. I was living a hopeless life because I hadn't taken God into account. I had simply given up. But God hadn't apparently given up on me. He had another plan....... He reminded me of something I already knew but had temporarily lost sight of. He reminded me that hope is the real music of the soul. Without it, the human spirit cannot sour, cannot rise above the things of this earth - and sing." Jonathon Stewart, "A Distant Music' - Mountain Song Legacy - B.J HOFF.

I now know I was supposed to read this book. Oh, I have never really lost my hope, but I had lost something. In the next few months, through reading God's Word, and other books, I know I will find that `something'. I hope you will come on my journey with me.

Don Moen - Like Eagles

IT WORKED!!

Don't you love it when you learn how to do new things, and they actually work. Mark gets a little stressed with me at time, because I have to confess it usually takes a few times to get things right. The quality of this video is not very good - but I will keep working on it. Here's one for you Donna!

Don Moen - He Never Sleeps

We Did It - I'm Back.

Thank you Lord, and thank you Donna - I have finally made my way back on my BLOG again, and can't start writing.

Where do I start? I don't want to spend my time writing to tell you how I have been `hard done by'. Thanks to the Lord, He has worked on my bitterness and anger, and is now readying me to return to his service. It may take time, but we will get there.

I want to spend the next 5 months, telling you about those wonderful PROMISES that God has given me over the past 6 weeks that I have been on Stress Leave. I may share a little about my situation, but just as a background to the BLESSINGS the Lord has and will continue to give me.

My prayer is that in someway, God will BLESS YOU through the PROMISES He has given me.

I'm BACK!!

* This may not work - but I am trying something new. God has blessed me with some wonderful music and I want to share it with you, so we'll see how it goes.

RESURRECTION SUNDAY

Today would have to be one of my favourite days of the year. Easter, I hope is always an uplifting time for Christians. I was afraid that this one would be different. Term 1 as a teacher at Gilston State School has not been what I expected, and without going into too much detail; when I left Thursday afternoon, it was not with a lot of enthusiasm for Term 2.

I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't been able to relax - I have just been depressed. Do a good feeling to have at Easter. One thing Mark and I did on Good Friday, after coming home from Church was, we watched `The Passion'. The part that hit me most this year, strangely enough was what we call other prisoners on the cross, particular the one who Jesus said to, "Today you will be with me in Paradise."

When I am depressed, one of the first people who come to my mind is my big sister, Mary. No matter what would happen in my life - good or bad - I always knew Mary was there to encourage me. It cheered me a little reaffirming the fact that she was in Heaven with the Lord; but I was still feeling a little selfish, wishing she was hear with me.

I woke up this morning - Resurrection Sunday - singing choruses; the first time in ages. I had slept well and was excited about what the Lord had in store for us at Church. I wasn't disappointed - well maybe just a little. On Friday we sang some of my favourite hymns and I was hoping there would be more this Sunday. Still, it was easy to fall into worship mode. Communion was inspiring and the sermon - well, guess what it was about? You guessed it - the prisoner on the cross.

It was a wonderful sermon reminding us of God's promise of eternal life - his gift. All we needed to do was ask God to `remember us', and he would. When we die, we would be with him in Heaven. What more of an encouragement does a person need. Then it hit me - how selfish can I be. My family aren't with me, but how dare I be depressed - when they are enjoying time with the Lord in Heaven.

The challenges I face next term, will be difficult, and I may still feel lonely at times. But I don't have to feel ALONE. My family are with the Lord in `paradise', and one day I'll get to join them - when God has finished with me on earth. What wonderful PROMISES!!