Finding Your Passion

In all the self-help books you read - be them christian or secular - there will always be a chapter on finding your passion.  These questions are often asked:

1. What makes you feel most energized or excited?

To be honest - not a lot at the moment. Most days I am too tired or in too much pain to feel passionately about anything.  Still, all my dreams (while sleeping) are very passionate. For example, last night I woke up about 3 or 4 times, but I would always go back to the same dream. I am in a classroom - in this case, teaching a values lesson with my puppets.

I have to confess that when I read my bosses' (Vi Jay's) emails about work, I don't want to jump up, get in the car and go to work; but I do feel something.  As for Kid's Ministry, although I am really not overly keen about `leading' or `teaching' - I still wish to be a part in some way.

2. What do I want to be known as?

Although fame and fortune have never really been on the agenda. I have always had an inner desire to have something printed.  I love writing and I love speaking - but mainly because I just want to encourage others. At the moment, I just want back some of the confidence I once had.

3. What could I talk about non-stop?

I know it is hard to believe, but I don't feel a lot like talking at all at the moment, because when I do all I seem to do is talk about myself. I just miss learning, and wish I was doing something to develop my skills in ministry and education.

4. What activities do I get so caught up in that time flies?

At the moment I have to say sleeping, reading and playing computer games. I would love to say housework and exercise.  Even writing doesn't come as easy at the moment, as I get depressed by all my spelling mistakes.

On Saturday I attended a `Mentoring and Coaching' Course at Church.  The words on the brochure that jumped out of me were: `EMPOWER, RELEASE AND GROW'. I have a great desire to do this to HELP OTHERS - either in the ministry or in the workplace, but I have to be honest, I selfishly need a little of this empowering myself.  What I discovered is that empowerment, releasement and growth come most when helping others - and deep down inside I still have this passion.

But the loss of my job with Education Queensland and now these annoying health problems have left me with little passion and energy. I am still in recovery mode from depression and are still having some bad days.  I do know though, from experience, it will not always be this way.

In Jeremiah, we are reminded:

"Blessed are those who TRUST in the Lord and have made the Lord their HOPE AND CONFIDENCE."  (17:7)

I especially love Jeremiah's responses to this promise:

"Lord, you are my strength and fortress,my refuge in the day of trouble."  (16:19)

"O Lord, you alone can heal me; you alone can save. My praises are for you alone." (17:14)

"Lord, I have not abandoned my job as a shepherd to your people." (17:6)

For a time Jeremiah was depressed and passionless (is this a word?).  He lacked energy and was discouraged.  Yet he never gave up on the hope he had in the Lord and what He believed God wanted Him to do.  This meant, that later, he was able to encourage the Babylonian exiles with these words:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans are good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days, when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me."  (29:11-13)

My prayer is that whatever you are facing at the moment, how passionless, depressed or discouraged you may feel - there is HOPE, and that HOPE comes from the Lord. TRUST HIM - you'll make it through.  It may take time and patience, but you'll get there.  I know I will!!