Finding Your Passion

In all the self-help books you read - be them christian or secular - there will always be a chapter on finding your passion.  These questions are often asked:

1. What makes you feel most energized or excited?

To be honest - not a lot at the moment. Most days I am too tired or in too much pain to feel passionately about anything.  Still, all my dreams (while sleeping) are very passionate. For example, last night I woke up about 3 or 4 times, but I would always go back to the same dream. I am in a classroom - in this case, teaching a values lesson with my puppets.

I have to confess that when I read my bosses' (Vi Jay's) emails about work, I don't want to jump up, get in the car and go to work; but I do feel something.  As for Kid's Ministry, although I am really not overly keen about `leading' or `teaching' - I still wish to be a part in some way.

2. What do I want to be known as?

Although fame and fortune have never really been on the agenda. I have always had an inner desire to have something printed.  I love writing and I love speaking - but mainly because I just want to encourage others. At the moment, I just want back some of the confidence I once had.

3. What could I talk about non-stop?

I know it is hard to believe, but I don't feel a lot like talking at all at the moment, because when I do all I seem to do is talk about myself. I just miss learning, and wish I was doing something to develop my skills in ministry and education.

4. What activities do I get so caught up in that time flies?

At the moment I have to say sleeping, reading and playing computer games. I would love to say housework and exercise.  Even writing doesn't come as easy at the moment, as I get depressed by all my spelling mistakes.

On Saturday I attended a `Mentoring and Coaching' Course at Church.  The words on the brochure that jumped out of me were: `EMPOWER, RELEASE AND GROW'. I have a great desire to do this to HELP OTHERS - either in the ministry or in the workplace, but I have to be honest, I selfishly need a little of this empowering myself.  What I discovered is that empowerment, releasement and growth come most when helping others - and deep down inside I still have this passion.

But the loss of my job with Education Queensland and now these annoying health problems have left me with little passion and energy. I am still in recovery mode from depression and are still having some bad days.  I do know though, from experience, it will not always be this way.

In Jeremiah, we are reminded:

"Blessed are those who TRUST in the Lord and have made the Lord their HOPE AND CONFIDENCE."  (17:7)

I especially love Jeremiah's responses to this promise:

"Lord, you are my strength and fortress,my refuge in the day of trouble."  (16:19)

"O Lord, you alone can heal me; you alone can save. My praises are for you alone." (17:14)

"Lord, I have not abandoned my job as a shepherd to your people." (17:6)

For a time Jeremiah was depressed and passionless (is this a word?).  He lacked energy and was discouraged.  Yet he never gave up on the hope he had in the Lord and what He believed God wanted Him to do.  This meant, that later, he was able to encourage the Babylonian exiles with these words:

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans are good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days, when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me."  (29:11-13)

My prayer is that whatever you are facing at the moment, how passionless, depressed or discouraged you may feel - there is HOPE, and that HOPE comes from the Lord. TRUST HIM - you'll make it through.  It may take time and patience, but you'll get there.  I know I will!!

Producing Quality Fruit - Part 3

"I am the True Vine and my Father is the Gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't bear fruit and prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more." John 15:1&2 (NLT)


Every year I would watch my husband pruning my orchids. At first, to a novice like myself this seemed unnecessary and counter productive, until later in the year when the new flowers came out.  What a delight!

Christians often have difficulty with God's pruning as this often takes place through testing and trials.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for GREAT JOY. For you know that when your faith is tested, your ENDURANCE has a chance to grow."  James 1:2&3 (NLT)


James tells us that there are two main benefits to God's pruning:

1. GREAT JOY.
2. ENDURANCE.

The last couple of weeks I have been struggling with these. After lots of prayer and speaking with friends I made the decision to take 2 months off work and children's ministry.  Work wasn't so difficult, as my boss had already found a couple to replace me. But my children's ministry - now that was another matter.

a) I have felt guilty.  All my wonderful devotions about `producing fruit' and `good works' and I want to take time out.

b) I am not sure I want to be `replaced'. I know these young ones have a lot more vitality than I have these days, and I've given a good 30 years. But the fact is, watching others do what I love doing doesn't come easy.

I've learnt over the years that pruning is never easy. But there is a goal - the production of more fruit. This new fruit `custom suited' to our individual needs, and like discipline, it is only as effective as we allow it to be.

Paul was one of many bible heroes that allowed God to prune his `branches'. Through imprisonment (Philippians 1:12-14),  through his weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) and through self sacrifice (Philippians 3:7-9).


I have also read about a number of fruitful men of God, who seemed to have grasped this concept well too.
 
  George Mueller was an evangelist, but spent most of his life working with orphans in  Bristol, England.  He is most well known for giving education to over  10,000 orphans and was accused of allowing them status above their station in life.  He was probably what we would call the founder of the Christian school.

"Our Heavenly Father never takes anything from His children unless He means to give them something better."  George Mueller.   1



Then there is our old mate Charles Spurgeon - a Baptist Minister - known not just for his amazing preaching, but also for his encouragement and teaching of Bible College students, having started charities and Bible Colleges that changed the lives of many young people. Of course, his writings can still be read today.

"I owe more to fire, the hammer and the file than anything else in my Lord's workshop."  Charles Spurgeon.  2




Pruning is future orientated.  Like Paul, George and Charles, I have discovered that loss happens, so that gain can come later. In pruning God is shaping us into who He has created us to be. It may not be easy, it may even hurt a little, but if you allow God to prune you the new blooms or fruit you produce will be a delight.

"We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28 (NLT)


"You didn't choose me, I chose you.  I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."  John 15:16  (NLT)

1. Wikipedia - George Mueller.  


2. Wikepedia - Charles Spurgeon.
















                                                       

PRODUCING QUALITY FRUIT - Part 2

Now we know that we have been created for a fruitful life, let's look at what happens if our fruit becomes diseased.

"When you obey my commandments you remain in my love, just I obey my Father's commandments and remain in His love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with joy. Yes, your joy will overflow."  John 15:10&11

As I've said many a time, I am not a gardener. The other day I was picking vegetables in the garden and came across what looked like a `dead branch' that had fallen to the ground.   I was about to throw it away when my husband said, `Don't do that. I'll pick it up and re-attach it.  It will grow again.'  Whatever!

Later that morning when reading my devotions I came across these words:

"A grape branch does not bear fruit when it becomes diseased and barren, and falls into the dirt. But the branch is too valuable to be cut off. So the vinedresser takes up the branch, cleans it off and refastens it to the trellis. Soon it is thriving again.' 1


When Christians become dirty and unfruitful because of sin, God lifts them up and cleans them off, so that they can be fruitful again. This is what is known in the Bible as `God's discipline'.

"My child, don't reject the Lord's discipline and don't be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those He loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights." Proverbs 3:11&12 (NLT)


Of course how we respond to God's discipline makes a difference in how fruitful our lives will be. Hebrews 12 talks about the positive and negative responses to discipline.

"Do not despise the chastening of the Lord, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you." Hebrews 12:5a (NIV)


"My child, don't make light of the Lord's discipline, and don't give up when He corrects you." Hebrews 12:5a  (NLT)


Do you remember a time when you were a child and your parents disciplined you? Maybe you sulked, argued or got in a rage, because you `despised' this discipline.  In the NLT the words `make light' are used. I like this, as how often do we not take not the Lord's discipline very seriously, consequently becoming self centred - wanting to do things our way and not God's.  When this happens not a lot of change or growth takes place.

Discouragement or `giving up' (NLT), usually sees you sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. To ward off this discouragement the best thing to do is to go straight to God, talk to Him and then do what he says to make your mistake right.

"Look carefully..... lest any root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble."  Hebrews 12:15b (NIV)


"Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many" Hebrews 12:15b (NLT)


In the NLT they call it a `poisonous root'. Now we all know what poison does to our bodies, just imagine what this bitterness (poisonous root) does to our souls. My experience of allowing bitterness to take hold is one of both physical and spiritual `illness'. Not wanting to take responsibility for my own actions, I make excuses or blame others.

Healing has come only when I have gone to God and allowed Him to lift the burden of bitterness so that I can begin my journey of growth and fruitfulness again.

The best result of discipline is a lasting, positive change. This make take time, especially when a value, habit or character quality is the problem. Remember though, that God's love is bigger than any problem. With endurance and perseverence we will again harvest the fruit of right living.

"The Lord disciplines those He loves and he punishes each one he accepts as His child." Hebrews 12:6 (NLT)


"God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in His holiness. No discipline is enjoyable when it is happening - it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained by it."  Hebrews 12:10&11  (NLT)


1. "Secrets of the Vine" (2002) Bruce Wikinson, Multnomah Publishers. 

Producing Quality Fruit - Part 1

"Yes, I am the Vine and you are the branches. Those who remain in me and I in them will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

"I want to be a tree that's bearing fruit

That God has pruned and caused to shoot.

Oh, up in the sky so very high,

I want to be, want to be a blooming tree." 1.

This has become the latest tune that has been stuck in my brain.  As I think about abiding in Christ, I now want to make sure I am producing quality fruit.

There are 2 types of fruit that I have discovered in the Bible. 

1. The first is found in Galatians 5:22&23, which we know as the `Fruits of the Spirit". 

"The fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENTLENESS, FAITHFULNESS and SELF CONTROL.". 

To really learn how to produce these fruits in your life you need to read the whole Bible, but for today, we'll begin at Verse 16, of Galatians 5. It says: 

"Let the HOLY SPIRIT GUIDE YOUR LIVES. Then you won't be doing what the sinful nature craves."

No matter how much we try to live `good' lives, our sinful nature will always be fighting our good intentions. Without abiding in Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to work within you, that sinful nature will always win. 

Oh it may not be anything drastic like `drunkenness or sexual immorality'; but how many times have you quarrelled with someone, been selfish, jealous or had an outburst of anger.  I know I have. 

But as believers, we can thank the Lord that the `passions and desires of our sinful nature' were `nailed with Christ and crucified there". 2 As Christ's followers we can now have these FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, as we follow the Holy Spirit's leading in every area of our lives.

What I love most about producing fruit, is it's not a matter of``having to' (the law) anymore, but because of God's grace and the Holy Spirit living in me, I now WANT TO. 

"God has promised His Holy Spirit

Will water our roots and help us grow. 

Listen and obey and before you know it,

Your fruit will start to grow, grow, grow". 1

2. The second kind of fruit is what is often known as `good works'.

"God saved you by GRACE when you believed. You can't take credit for this, it is a gift from God.

Salvation is not a reward for the good things you have done, so none of us can boast about it."

                                                                                       Ephesians 2:8&9

Many years ago I was given the opportunity to speak on this passage at a Seventh Day Adventist Church.  Nothing thrills a speaker more than to look out and see people with tears of joy, as they come to the realization that they are SAVED BY GRACE and not works. 

As you come to this realization you become even more fruitful as your `good works' are now bringing glory to God. Again, they are something you WANT to do, rather than have to.

"For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the things He planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10. (NLT)

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so the Father will give you anything you ask for in His name." John 15:16 (NLT)

God has chosen you to bear fruit that no one can produce exactly like you. The more you abide in Christ, the more your fruitfulness becomes a passion and your life is filled with joy in the Holy Spirit. 

"You'll be a tree that's bearing fruit

With a very, very, very strong root.

Bright colours like daisies, more fruit than Sainsburies,

You'll be a blooming tree." 1

1. "I Want to Be a Blooming Tree", 1996, Doug Horley, Thankyou Music.

2. "Secrets of the Vine", 2002, Bruce Wilkinson, Multnomah Publishers. 

Welcome to Abiding - Part 2

In Revelation 3:20 Jesus reminds us that He is standing at the door of our hearts, waiting for us to invite Him in, so we can abide with Him and He with us.

"Look! Here I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me calling and open the door, I will come in and we will share a meal as friends." Revelation 3:20 (NLT)

For me, maybe because I love my food, sharing a meal is one of the most intimate things I like to do with my best friend - my husband. I can imagine that doing the same with Jesus would be wonderful. You see, after my operation I not only have a scar on my face, but one side of my mouth doesn't work very well. So at the moment, I am quite a messy eater. Still, I know my husband accepts me and loves me just the same. I know the same is true with my friend Jesus.

My friend Jesus also wants be to abide in Him so I can produce fruit. In vineyard terms: "Abiding happens at the place where the branch connects to he vine".* The interesting thing I have found though, is that sometimes taking time to abide with Jesus, means there is less time to do things for Him. Yet, you may still produce a greater harvest. I have experienced this, but I am still amazed by this miracle.

You see, when you abide in Christ and His word, His desires become your desires. The same thing you did before may yield greater results, or He may ask you to bear fruit somewhere else.

Just after I married Mark, and became an Army wife, the Lord said to me: "I want you to be my seed planter'. Fine! But I also discovered this meant giving up my acting job. As an actor with `Covenant Players' I had felt I had touched many lives. What was I going to do now? I wasn't a good housewife, and it seemed I was never in one place long enough to see any fruit grow, but the opportunities I had to plant those seeds were endless -as a volunteer in schools, as a Foster mother and as I met with other Army wives. There were other times I was unable to `do' anything as such, but God gave me lots of time to pray and read His word.

'I was in hospital, feeling quite sorry for myself. After three miscarriages, I had been told that if I ever got pregnant again, I would need to spend the duration in hospital. So here I was, awaiting the birth of my child, being fussed over by doctors and nurses and hating the fact that I had little control over the situation.

Before going into hospital I had been teaching my Scripture class about Paul. I had decided I didn’t like him very much. He seemed so confident and capable, it made me sick. He had been shipwrecked, in jail, let down by His friends and in fear of his life from his enemies. Yet, he always gave thanks! How could he do this?

Next to my bed I had placed my Bible. I decided it was time to take another look at this character of Paul, and why he was able to do this. I discovered that Paul never sat around dwelling on his circumstances. When he felt afraid and alone, or helpless, he would go straight to the Father, and `nip those feelings in the bud’. He never sat for long feeling sorry for himself, but would look around to find a need somewhere that he could meet.

Across the corridor, I heard a lady crying. Her tears were for a beautiful, healthy baby boy, who she was having difficulty in loving. Her husband had walked out on her when he discovered she was pregnant, and this baby was a reminder of him. I asked the Lord for courage, then asked the woman if I could pray for her. This was a new experience for me, and I was quite surprised when she said `yes’.

I can’t remember the words I spoke, but I do know they brought comfort to this mother. Later our prayer was answered, as the last time I saw her, she was leaving the hospital cuddling her little baby, and holding on to the hand of her husband.' **

Lets take a quick look at the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42.

"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister Mary sat at Jesus' feet listening to what he taught. But Martha was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said: "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me."

But the Lord said to her: "My dear Martha. You are upset over all these details. There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it and I won't take it away from her."

1. Abiding Requires Our Focused Attention.

There are many things that distract us from spending time with God, but we are reminded in this story that `abiding' is the `one thing that is needed'.

2. Abiding is for Every Believer Regardless of Age or Level of Maturity.

Jesus wanted activity minded Martha to choose abiding. But it was hard for her to stop `doing'.

I was overwhelmed and challenged last Sunday when our Youth Pastor told us how the young people had given up their `sleeping hours' to take part in our 24hrs of prayer. Oh, Mark and I gave our hour, but this was in between our other activities.

Like Martha there are times I get bogged down with the `doing' and forget to take time for the `abiding'.

3. Abiding is Available to Every Believer at any Time or Place.

Jesus challenged Martha about her priorities, not her activities. Regular time set aside to wholly focus on God is where abiding begins, but it can continue during the day - while you work, folding laundry or mowing the lawn. Brother Lawrence calls this: "practicing the presence of God".***

I like to listen to my worship music while I work, helping me to know I am always in God's presence. I used to get up early and go for a walk in the bush. It was so easy to focus on God with His creation all around me. Now, my mornings are spent reading God's Word, journalling and praying - and my praying and worshipping continues during the day.

4. Abiding is With a Person.

Notice how Mary's desire was to be with Jesus, to experience His presence and listen to His teaching. This is the desire we too need to have in our hearts.

"The Lord is close to all who call on Him, yes to all who call on Him sincerely." Psalm 145:18

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:8.

*Secrets if the Vine" - Bruce Wilkinson, 2002, Multnomah Publishers

** "In the Palm of His Hand" - Ruth Cheater.

*** "Practicing the Presence of God" - 1958, Brother Lawrence, Spire Books.

Welcome to Abiding - Part 1

"Abide in me and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the Vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me and I in Him bears much fruit." John 15:4&5

As it gets closer to Easter, one of the passages I love to read is John 15. This is the last main teaching that Jesus gave His disciples before He went to the cross. Although it is only mentioned in one gospel, I still believe it must have been pretty important.

With so many other things on His mind and wanting to get to the garden to pray, Jesus still took this time to walk with His disciples and to encourage them. It's not surprising that John was the disciple that recorded this teaching on `abiding'. John was known as `the disciple that Jesus loved', and this confidence in His love was born from deep abiding.

In most Bibles this passage is entitled `Jesus - the True Vine'. Now I am not much of a gardener, so I don't know why I like this passage so much. I think it is the idea of `abiding with Jesus' that really gets me in.

To `ABIDE' means to `remain intimately connected'. As I watch my husband tend his garden and taste the wonderful vegetables it produces, I can see how connecting with Jesus in this way helps me to `tap into his power and presence'*. ABIDE also means to `remain' or `stay'. To me, this believe this means that it is our responsibility to remain in His presence.

God wants to be intimate with us, but we need to make the choice to be intimate with Him. In John 15, we discover 3 ways be can choose to abide.

1) WE ABIDE IN CHRIST.

"I am the Vine, you are the branches. Those who remain in Me and I in them will produce much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing." John 15:5

I can still remember how I felt the day I accepted Jesus as my Saviour. This feeling, I might add, has never left me. It was this wondrous experience of being wrapped in the arms of my Father, the knowing that Jesus was now my special friend and that He would not only be with me, but in me, as the Holy Spirit.

"I will ask the Father and He will give you another Counsellor who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit who leads you in all truth." John 14:16

2) WE ABIDE IN HIS LOVE.

When we abide in Jesus' love, we begin to have his love in us. There is a song we used to sing back in the 70's, based on the passage in Matthew 25. When I think about loving as Jesus loved, this song comes to mind.

"When I needed a neighbour, were you there, were you there?

When I needed a neighbour, were you there?

And the creed and the colour and the name won't matter, were you there?" **

3) WE ABIDE IN HIS WORD.

"But if you stay joined to me and my words remain in you, you may ask any request you like and it will be granted." John 15:7

By reading God's word everyday we learn more and more about how Christ wants us to live like Him and in Him. We discover anew how we can be `tapped into His power and presence'. *

* "Secrets of the Vine" - Bruce Willkinson, 2002, Multnomah Publishers.

** "You Were There" - Sydney Carter, 1971, Steiner & Bell.

ENGAGE! ENGAGE! (this is written with permission from my friends)

Think for a minute about people you know - truly happy, wholehearted, engaged people. They are usually happy in their marriage - giving all to their relationship. They are usually great parents because they just love being with their kids. They are often `successful' in their work because they get up each morning, ready to push themselves to be better than they were the day before. They are not afraid to move out of their comfort zone to try something new. Most of all, they are ALIVE! They are wonderful Christian people, living their faith and serving God with wholehearted devotion.

"Acknowledge the God of your father. Serve Him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts." 1 Chronicles 28:9

Mark and I have some special friends. When I first met them 25 years ago, just after moving to Brisbane, Rob was a very shy, internal person. Paulinne just loved life and loved being a mum to her three little boys. I had only one son and because I felt so imcompetent as a mother, I loved spending time with my new friend. Her vibrancy and joy was catchy., but most of all she just made you feel like a wonderful special person. Being a quiet and internal person himself, Mark always enjoyed his time with Rob. As far as I know they didn't talk much, but Mark would always come away feeling good about himself too.

We moved away - that's what Army families do. We made new friends, but when things got a little tough, our thoughts and hearts would always go back to our special friends.

When we moved back to Brisbane many years later, we couldn't wait to have a visit with Paulinne and Rob. They had changed a lot - Rob was now a confident businessman and Paulinne a career woman. But one thing hadn't changed - their vibrancy and love for life, for each other and now their four boys. It was again catchy. Mark and I came away knowing we could face whatever life had in store for us. Even Aaron couldn't wait to be back with Uncle Rob and Aunty Paulinne.

We don't spend as much time visiting our friends anymore. Their lives are busy. Their children have grown up and they cherish their time with their family. But we do write and they are still fully engaged in marriage and parenthood. Each day they are still looking for new challenges to help them grow. And, they are still fully engaged in living their faith and being Christ's devoted witnesses.

"So be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.

Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do...................... Be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and

spiritual songs among yourselves, and make music to the Lord in your hearts. Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the

name of our Lord Jesus Christ." Ephesians 5:15-20.

POSITIVE THINKING - IT COMES STRAIGHT FROM THE BIBLE.

"Every single day happy people are thinking thoughts that help them feel better. Unhappy people do the opposite." Dr Henry.

Over the years I have done a lot of failing and have had to deal with what is known as `rejection syndrome.' To stay on top of it, I have had to develop some positive thought patterns.

* I am God's child and nothing can separate me from His love.

"I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from GOD'S LOVE. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today or our worries about tomorrow - not even the powers of hell can separate us from GOD'S LOVE." Romans 8:38

* I can do all things through Christ who gives me STRENGTH." Philippians 4:13

* There is certainly a future hope for me. "We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. Endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. This HOPE will not lead to disappointment, for we know how dearly God loves us, because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love." Romans 5:3-5

"I pray that God, the source of HOPE, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident HOPE through the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

"Let us hold tightly without wavering to the HOPE we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." Hebrews 10:23

As you can see the Bible affirms all the research that "happy people are not overcome by their circumstances" (Dr Henry) Instead, we can overcome them by thinking in ways God has shown us to think - ways that breed faith and hope.

"Do not conform any long to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I know, I make it sound easy. For some people, yes, the transformation can happen overnight. But for most of us, it takes a lot of hard work. It has taken me years to put behind me words and thoughts that have been imbedded in me by the world.

"You are hopeless - a failure."

"Why can't you be like................."

"You never do anything right."

As I discovered in my last BLOG, I still struggle, especially with that second one. But I am learning more and more each day that with God in my life, I can control my thoughts. I need to no longer fear rejection or anything else that may be in my future.

I've said it before, I know, but I have to say it again: "I know the Lord is ALWAYS WITH ME. I will not be shaken, for He is RIGHT BESIDE ME." Psalm 16:8

The reality of life is that we live in an imperfect world. We will always face trials or negative experiences. But GOD IS BIGGER THAN THE NEGATIVE, and He can control how much we allow negative thoughts to control us. Remember His promise:

"We know IN ALL THINGS, God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

I AM WONDERFULLY MADE - WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Happy people don't compare themselves with others. This has always been one of my downfalls. It could be a symptom of `middle child syndrome' or just my insecurities.

In childhood and adulthood I was always comparing myself to my sisters and sister-in-laws. As a Learning Support teacher, moving from school to school, it usually took about 3 years before you stopped hearing, `The previous teacher did it this way'. Even in ministry - the Church leaders expected Youth Group and Kids Club to be run `just like Trixie did it'.

I have always known the truth of the Bible: "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to someone else'

Gal 6:4&5

But I still found this one of the hardest things to do. Consequently my stress levels would rise whenever one of my sisters or in laws did something I knew I could never do. If a colleague had a book published or produced a learning program I had been working on too. Whenever a family left the Church to follow `Trixie'.

I know - God made me unique with my own gifts and abilities. I know I have faced challenges and overcome them to become who God wants me to be. I know God `created me to be one person and not to judge myself in relation to others'. (Dr Henry)

I KNOW it all, so why do I keep comparing myself with others. I guess KNOWING is not enough, you have to BELIEVE it too. Believe that you are wonderfully made, in the image of God, and that He wants to use you - your lives and your talents - to serve Him to the fullest. I'll have to keep working on that one!

"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things God planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10

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Computer Physio

As I am a little stiff and sore, I have decided it's time I did some computer physio. Before I go on though - please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. The latest week has been spent on a journey through Psalms 30-34. I had hoped to have gone further, but have had a really sore eye and reading has been difficult. But I have still been blessed with some wonderful promises: "I will exalt you, O Lord for you rescued me. You refused to let my enemies triumph over me." Psalm 30:1 "O Lord, I cried to you for help and you restored my heath." Psalm 30:2 "Weeping may last for the morning, but joy comes in the morning." Psalm 30:5b For those who don't know, my recovery, according to doctors and nurses has been amazing. But we know why, don't we. As I say to them all, it can't be anything else with people praying from Bundaberg to Melbourne, and even in Canada. Here are some of His miracles already: * First of all I didn't have to have the planned surgery - taking a graph from my leg. Although it was still long - 8.30-5.00 - I don't have as much scaring. I was a naughty girl when I went under anaesthetic, and had a little fit, then again, I believe when I came out of it. But it shouldn't effect my driving record - I don't think I will every be driving under aneasthetic. * Only one day and night was spent in ICU, mainly because I refuse to breath properly. But it hurt!! * Mark was able to rest well after the surgery - thanks to you wonderful friends and `bossy' nurses who were able to convince him to go home. * I had lots of surprise visitors in hospital, and this was helpful I am sure to my recovery. Not having Aaron and Emily there (except on skpe), it could have been easy to fall into depression. Had one bad night when I realized I hadn't been able to smile at my visitors. But the ENT Specialist were able to save all the other nerves in my cheek, so I can sleep and eat. Wasn't sure about the eating, but finally today, my system has decided it is time I started enjoying my food again. I don't think I will eat in public yet though. * My early release on Day 5 was a witness to a number of people I think, especially to the ladies on my ward. One of which, Daria, asked me if I'd put her on my prayer list. I was a little upset when they placed me in a larger ward. I thought I had been a little spoilt with the Private Room. The patients were a group of complainers and started to drive me a bit batty - very unselfish of me I know. Then I realized they were a lot worst off than me, and I couldn't do a lot of witnessing and praying for patients in a private room. Was a but uneasy about early release - not feeling well enough. But I probably have been able to sleep and recover better at home. I thought it was just because I had been such a good girl, then I discovered the truth. Just before I left, their last words to me were: "When is Mark coming, we need your bed." Oh well!! It was nice to be loved for a while. "I entrust my spirit into your hand. Rescue me for you are a faithful God." Psalm 31:5 "Be strong and courageous, all you that hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24. "For you are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory." Psalm 32:7 On Thursday I had my stitches out. I am now covered in sticky plaster, which needs to stay on for 6 weeks. But it definetely isn't as bad as we all thought it would be. Was feeling very tired when I got home and a little depressed - still in a lot of pain. Received a care package from a very special friend. We have been friends for years - not always close, but the kind of friend you know will always be there for you, even when you are not always there for them. Pauline collects `Teddy Bears' so it shouldn't have been surprising to find a gorgeous Teddy Bear named Sherwood, and the words: "A TRUE FRIEND IS ALWAYS THERE". It was just what I needed to give me that lift. "For the word of the Lord holds true, and everything He does is worthy of our trust." Psalm 33:4 "I cried out to the Lord in my suffering and he heard me. He set me free from my all my fears. For the angel of the Lord guards all who fear Him and He rescues them." Psalm 34:6&7 "The righteous face many troubles but the Lord rescues them from each and every one." Psalm 34:19 Today has truly been a day of healing. I woke up with no pain in my throat, my eye is only now just starting to get a little watery, and my stomach is so much better - thanks to the Lord and I have to confess, taking some drugs, and I believe going off others. I have stopped taking the painkillers. The panadol is making the pain bearable, but today I have not been afraid to eat. But the biggest healing of all is an emotional/spiritual thing that has been binding me for a number of years. On Thursday it was my son Aaron's Graduation. Mark was afraid to show me the photos on Facebook, because he knew how much we wanted to be there. I looked at a photo of Aaron and his mother in law, and instead of feeling the `jealousy' I sometimes feel when I see how much fun Aaron has with his `new' family, I just felt so happy that Aaron is happy. As Ros said, `Her son in law is now a Batchelor'. I also joked, that I can also do some photo shop on the photo, but I am sure he wouldn't have wanted a photo with his mum the way she looks at the moment. I have been practicing, but I still can't seem to smile. We rang Aaron and Emily that afternoon and they were enjoying their time together over their graduation celebrity lunch - and they said they wished we were there. This is just the beginning of my healing journey, and I know it will continue for I know how God works in all circumstances for good. "We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purposes. " Romans 12:28

"A Push and a Prayer"

The other day I was watching an episode of the T.V Detective show, "Monk". One of the characters, a young policeman called Randy, was always being teased by his partner and colleagues.

Monk asked him, "How do you do it? How do you stay so happy?"

Randy answered: "It isn't always easy. But one day, after coming away from a gruesome murder scene, I noticed a sign on a car, `Don't Worry, Be Happy'. I made a decision that day that no matter what happened or what people said to me, I would always BE HAPPY."

I believe, like Randy, that even when depressed you can still pursue life to the fullest if you are seeking happiness. As my psychologist told me over and over again, "Never stay at home - get out there".

* Build relationships.

* Pursue goals.

* Serve others.

* Exercise and stay healthy.

* Resolve pain and conflicts.

* Pursue activities you love.

And top of my list, which wasn't on hers:

* Nurture a spiritual life. Devote time to prayer and Bible Study.

It isn't easy. It is a step by step process. But it is up to you to make the decision to make others happy and yourself happy.

"We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:12

I have a feeling over the next few months I may need a lot of encouragement to stay happy. Yes, I have the internal aptitude and the faith, but I also know how easy it is to fall into depression. As I go into my cancer surgery tomorrow, then look ahead to my recovery. I have given my friends and prayer partners the permission to `push me' (not literally). A `PUSH AND A PRAYER' - that is my new motto.

I am hoping with their help and that of the Lord, I will find the courage to stop worrying and to BE HAPPY. If Randy and Monk can do it, so can I.

GIVING AND TRUE HAPPINESS

There is so much truth to the well known saying, "It is more blessed to give than to receive".

Before moving on to University in 1996, I had spent the previous 20 years as a volunteer - Scripture teaching, reading with children, teacher aiding and of course my children's ministry activities.

I could say, in those days it was easier to survive on one income. But no, we had our struggles. But it didn't seem to matter as much. My husband too, was always helping someone neighbours or someone at church. Then of course we had our foster children. Nothing brought more happiness to our home than children.

I hate that I now have to work for money. Oh, don't get me wrong - when my boss gave me $200 in cash the other day, I sighed with relief. "Ah, great, now we can get those few things we need."

God tells us that money is just a tool, a tool we can use to give of ourselves to others. I'd like to say my first thought was to give the money to our church. Sorry, it was gone before I thought of that. That's a discipline I still need to work on.

I know that being prosperous is not evil. In fact the few wealthy people I know have worked really hard for what they have. They are also good savers. Most of all, though, they give generously to the Lord's work. They are happy people, not because of their money, but because they have a `rich' relationship with the Lord.

"God loves a cheerful giver." 2 Corinthians 9:7

Recently I have discovered that it is not wrong to have limits on giving. Some of us give beyond our emotional resources until we burn out. Saying `no' does not always mean you are selfish. Selfishness is not giving at all. We need to enjoy our giving. Sometimes, though, God may ask us to give beyond our comfort zone, or to someone who may not seem deserving.

In these times, I think you will find the most happiness. Maybe not at the time, but later. For it is in times that we are giving as God gives - unconditionally. Often my gifts or `acts of kindness' have melted the hearts of an ungrateful person.

"Love your enemies and be good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be great. You will truly be acting as children of God, for He is kind to the unthankful and wicked." Matthew 5:44

Here is a little song I wrote years ago as a Sunday School teacher. I always like to think they would say `thank you'.

TEN MEN.

Ten men went to see Jesus

Ten men got down on their knees.

Ten men were healed by Jesus

Then they went away to tell their friends.

One man went back to Jesus

One man got down on His knees.

One man said `Thank you Jesus

For healing me from my leprosy'.

Jesus wants us to the be thankful

Jesus wants us to know He cares.

Jesus wants us to know that He loves us

And He'll be with us to the very end.

Ruth Cheater

Have a happy `giving day', and don't forget to say `THANKYOU', for those gifts given to you.

Prayer - Lifestyle or Discipline.

"Let us have confidence then and approach God's throne, where there is grace. There we will receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16.

When telling everyone my news about my Cancer this past few weeks, I realized that there was only one person in my family (except my son and his wife) that said they'd pray. I realized it is time I started doing some `heavy' praying for my family. I keep thinking about my Mum and her `gift of praying' and now I have discovered my young niece who really has a gift in this area.

I say my prayer life is more a `lifestyle faith' , but maybe this is just an excuse for not being committed to prayer. Those who know me well know how hard it is for me to `keep still and focused'. My Dad and sisters too were a great prayers, but I seem to have let the side down. Time I did something about it.

Where do I start - the Bible of course. My young niece reminded me to look at how Jesus prayed.

1. JESUS MADE IT A HABIT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIS FATHER - Jesus would always find time to go off and pray.

"Then accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the upstairs room and went AS USUAL to the Mount of Olives." (Luke 22:39)

My friend Bob Gass reminds us that prayer is a conversation with God. It is a RELATIONSHIP. "Spending time alone with Him is the secret of knowing Him. I can be anywhere, but it needs to be somewhere, and it needs to be a set time."1 It is one of those necessary disciplines. It may mean changing your schedule or rearranging your priorities, but you need to MAKE IT A HABIT to PRAY.

2. JESUS PRAYED ACCORDING TO HIS FATHER'S WILL.

"He walked away and knelt down and prayed: "Father if you are willing, please take this cup away from me. Yet not my will be done, but yours". Luke 22:41&42

God wants us to understand that if you don't need it yet, he may not supply it. The hardest thing I have found in my spiritual walk is to have patience and simply trust God - waiting for His will to be done.

Paul writes: "Don't worry about anything. Instead PRAY about everything. If you do this you will experience God's peace." Philippians 4:6&7

As humans we find this difficult to do, because we seem to have to sort things out ourselves. We need to know all the answers. We want things our way. When I am in pain, I remember this verse, as I know Jesus didn't particularly like it either, but he was willing to let God's will be done. And with that will came our salvation.

2. JESUS WAS PASSIONATE ABOUT PRAYER.

"He prayed more fervently and He was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood." Luke 22:44

There are times, like Jesus, we need to just look up and cry out to God.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

Lots of things happen when you seek God with all your heart. Often there are miracles, but even if you miss them, you will grow spiritually as your relationship with God blossoms.

4. JESUS PRAYED THE WORD.

"No the Scriptures say, `People do not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4

This is only one time in the Gospels where Jesus used the Scriptures - in this case to defeat Satan. The prophecies of His Father were the basis of his ministry, prayers and of course the salvation of the world.

I usually begin my prayer time with the reading from the Psalms. Not only do I love them, but the words are often written in a prayer like form, that make it easier to focus your thoughts on God. I was brought up memorising scripture, but I didn't find this as easy task. So I have a book I put together with thematic verses - if I can't remember, I look up my book. Usually, I know where the verse came from in the Bible, even if not remembering the exact words, so I try to always have my Bible close by.

5. JESUS PRAYED CONFIDENTLY.

"I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who believe in me through their message. I pray that they will be one just as you and I are one - as you are in me Father, and I am in you. May they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me." John 17:20721

What confidence we can have as we pray, when we know that Jesus prayed confidently for us. God has wonderful things in store for us, but only if we believe in Him.

"You have asked nothing in my name. Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full."

(John 16:24)

6. JESUS TAUGHT HIS DISCIPLES TO PRAY.

The greatest reminder of how Jesus prayed and how we should pray are in the Lord's Prayer - the prayer Jesus taught his disciples to pray.

In it we find words of adoration and praise, words of confident petition as we seek His will, the promise of forgiveness, and help as we try to forgive others. Finally we are given the courage to fight the devils attacks.

Take this prayer with you every day and make it a discipline as well as a lifestyle, as you seek to PRAY AS JESUS PRAYED.

"Our Father in Heaven, hallowed be your name

Your Kingdom come, your will be done

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day, our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil

For thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever.

AMEN.

1. "Praying and Getting Results" (2001) Bob Gass Ministries.

Challenge and Comfort

The hardest book in the Bible for me to read is the book of Job. But there are three verses that bring challenge me and bring me comfort.

"But He knows where I am going and when He tests me I will come out as pure as gold." (23:10)

"For I have stayed on God's paths. I have followed His ways and not turned aside." (23:11)

"I have not departed from His commands, but have treasured His words more than daily food." (23:12 (NLT)

I'm not through the "tests" yet, but I am getting there. I will continue with God's help to stay on His path and to follow His ways. I am not sure I will be a fill time teacher again. I don't know where my writing will take me, if anywhere, but I will continue to do as my old mate Hezekiah did:

"He sought His God wholeheartedly." 2 Kings 18:5-

One of my favourite stories is that of Mary Jones, which is why it is on the first page of my book: "In the Palm of His Hands."

The Bible has always been an important part of my life, both as a mother, a wife and especially as a teacher. Whenever I teach about the Bible, I am always reminded of the story of Mary Jones. Mary was a young girl from Wales, who worked as a child to raise money for her first Bible. She walked to a Church, many miles from her hometown, because there were no Bibles in her language. On meeting with the Pastor of this Church, Mary discovered there were no Bibles left. So, the Pastor gave him his Bible and she walked home to share its wonders with her parents.

Yesterday in Children's Church we talked about courage, and how through prayer and reading the Bible we can gain courage to help us when we are afraid. Specifically facing up to the bully at school, telling the truth when everyone else is lying, making the right choices when faced with peer pressure. I'm not saying has always been easy to do. It has been a challenge. But I can honestly say it has been easier, because I made the choice to `stay on God's path and not turn aside. It was easier because I made the decision to `never depart from His commands and have treasured His word in my heart'.

I challenge you to do the same, and no, it won't always be easy - there will be CHALLENGES, but I can also say with confidence, that God's Word will bring you COMFORT.

THE BIBLE

As a child I sat and wondered, feeling alone and scared,
I needed someone to be my friend, someone who really cared.
So I asked my Mum about it, I asked her where I could look,
She said, `Try reading the Bible",
I thought, "Now that's a strange book

But I started from the beginning
And read right through to the end.
I learnt that I had a BROTHER,
And He was my SAVIOUR AND FRIEND.

I never let Him leave me, I always knew He was there,
At home, at school, at work and play
My FRIEND was everywhere.


As I grew older I needed more, someone to guide me along.
There were paths and paths, which one do I take,
I didn't want to go wrong.
This time I asked my minister, he always had lots to say,
He said, "Try reading the Bible".
He said that would show me the way.

So I started from the beginning
And read right through to the end.
I learnt that I had a SHEPHERD
And He was my SAVIOUR AND FRIEND.

I never let Him leave me, I always knew he was there,
At Church, at home, when studying at school,
My SHEPHERD was everywhere.


Now I've come to a mountain, how do I get across,
I need someone to take my hand, to keep me from getting lost.
This time I'll ask my father, `cause I know he really cares,
He'll probably say `read the Bible',
`Cause I know He knows what's there.

So I'll start from the beginning
And I'll read right through to the end.
I'm sure that I'll find my FATHER,
For He is my SAVIOUR AND FRIEND.

I'll never let Him leave me,
I'll always know He's there.
At work, at home, and when I'm alone,
My FATHER is everywhere.

RUTH CHEATER